I’m dreadfully afraid of feeling negative emotions, because it could take away all the progress I’ve done so far. I’m caught in a hurricane of thoughts, convincing me that one tear will destroy everything.
For this very reason I’m stuck in a vicious circle that gathers and hides everything I wish to relinquish, so I could seem positive and happy. I used to tell myself that I don’t have to be someone I don’t want to be, that I don’t have to pretend. But now, when I’m building my future around me, there’s too much at stake, so I need the positivity to keep going. To keep building.
I’m desperately trying to seize the day and ignore the fact, that this happiness has only an outside effect. And you? What are you hiding behind your optimism?