Deceptive kind of love

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https://pixabay.com/en/nature-love-couple-in-love-grooms-1790142/

I’ve had a rather shallow opinion about love. To me, such things as soul mates have never been an existing possibility, because a thought of two people connecting on the advertised level seemed a fairy tail you only read in books. And precisely because of these paper treasures,  I used to live with an unreal definition of love and too high expectations, for almost my entire life, not being able to find happiness in any of my past relationships.

There was a time when I was convinced that I wasn’t capable of loving, because I haven’t felt the way book characters do. But as I grew up, I’ve learnt that love isn’t about the perpetual butterflies in your stomach or exaggerated feelings. It isn’t about the appearance or mutual interests. Then what is it about, you may ask?

Trying to learn to love.

It’s easy to fall for a perfection, but the real love is about cherishing the anger, shattered hearts and broken minds; seeing what’s beneath the lovely painting and picturing where it all came from. Understanding and patience towards the ugly behavior. And forgiveness, as we are just as guilty as the other person. One of the hardest tasks is admitting your own fault, but when you finally succeed, you can let go of toxic self-righteousness and be on a right path to forgiveness.

You see, I lived with a false belief that romantic love was the eternal kind of love. But I’ve learnt that I’m only at a very beginning to finding out what it means to me.

45 thoughts on “Deceptive kind of love

  1. Great post! “Soulmate” Is a matter of opinion sometimes you find the person to just perfect for you but you still don’t always agree or always have everything in common.

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  2. Great topic! Great post! “Soulmate” can be a very deceptive term. It can leave us wondering…What does it even mean? Learning to love is a great first step to finding the kind of love that you desire.

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  3. Love is a process, it’s not something that comes easily, like you said you are at the beginning, and love is not the same for everyone, simply let it take it’s time, and cherish each thing that happens, be it good or bad, it always comes with a lecture to learn.

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  4. Love is not a perfect and false expectations lead to disappointments. Four years ago, I would have never thought it possible to really find somebody whom you can trust, love, and devote the rest of your life. But, I did and it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I wish you well.

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  5. I felt the same until I found true love. After that, I thought about what I would tell my kids when they asked what is love and I would tell them that “as angry as your mother makes me sometimes, the only person I want to see or talk to about it is her. That’s love”.

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  6. Hard to disagree with anything you wrote, however, I do believe I was lucky enough to experience movie-type love, and it always seems to be so short-lived for me. Something that escapes as soon as I begin to think life is beautiful again.

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  7. I enjoyed reading this – I think especially as I can relate to it all. Love is not something that has come my way yet, and the notion of a soulmate is hard to imagine. I guess I can only hope – one day!

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  8. I really haven’t thought about love, especially “soul mates” as love to me is doing what I love. And also, music is my love. I don’t need anything else.

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  9. Can relate. I use to think “soul-mates” were a real thing until I ended my last relationship and realise that love is just about having mutual likings and working through the negatives. After that, I stopped caring about love and focused on myself and the things in my life.

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  10. I couldn’t agree more “One of the hardest tasks is admitting your own fault, but when you finally succeed, you can let go of toxic self-righteousness and be on a right path to forgiveness”. Always choose forgiveness. It’s always a good feeling to love and be loved.

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